Adam Ace noticed that it had become very popular with celebrities and performers to do
blogs on their websites in which they tell you in great detail about their life. As to not
be left out he has decided to jump aboard. Unfortunately he doesn't type very fast so his
blog entries will be very limited. You can check out the archived blogs below.
Enjoy!!!
January 1
Happy New Year! My New Year's Resolution is to blog more.
February 3
So much for that New Years Resolution.
February 14
Valentines Day is a busy day for a guy in a red suit. Everybody wants a piece of the big red love machine.
February 17
I am doing my shopping for next Valentines Day now because you can get stuff for 50% off. I hope my girlfriend next year likes the shirt that I got her that says "Happy Valentines Day 2009"
February 21
I have entered myself into rehab. Rehab to help cure myself of my addiction to Cottage Cheese. It is out of control. I have a problem. Just to be clear though, it is not the kind of cottage cheese on the back of womans thighs, it is the kind that you put on bagels.
March 7
The after effects of going into Rehab for my cottage cheese addiction have caused me to lose my passion for blogging.
April 18
I have decided that the blogging thing is way over rated and I am now going to recommit all of my time I used to use on blogging to my true passion......scrapbooking!
May 22
I have been advised by my doctors I need to take a break from scrapbooking as I am in the early stages of carpel tunnel, they have allowed me however to blog once
in a while.
June 11
Not much happened today
August 20th
Got a paper cut as I was signing autographs after my show.
August 21st
Slept in
August 22nd
Went to get a haircut. Wanted a weave or dreadlocks and they wouldn't do either because I didnt have enough hair.
August 23rd
Had the day off. Decided to try yoga. Will never try that again.
August 24th
Went to an orphanage to volunteer to do some work with the kids. They turned me down.
August 25th
Had dinner at Chilis. The waitress asked me what I wanted to order. I said "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, I want my baby back baby back baby back,
Chili's Baby Back Ribs!!" She was not amused.
August 26th
Spent the day at the mall shopping for a new leotard. When the salesperson asked me who it was for, I said "a girl I know who is the exact same size as me". I don't think he believed me.
August 27th
Looked in the mirror for an hour and a half today repeating the line "I am the big red love machine and the ladies love me" over and over again.
August 28th
Put a dollar in a soda machine and hit the Coke button and it gave me sprite. I hate that.
August 29th
Did a show. People Laughed. Nice.
August 30th
Had a great show and then afterwards was attacked by a midget, sorry, little person. That is the same mistake I made during the show.
September 2nd
I went and bought a new fanny pack today. Fanny Packs rule!!!!
September 4th
Woke up and decided I wanted to change careers and become an algebra teacher, then realized I don't know how to do algebra and decided to stick with being a comedian.
September 7th
Went on a date today. With a girl !!!!!!!!!!!
September 10th
Burnt myself on the curling iron today. It is a lot harder to curl armpit hair than I thought.
September 15th
I got a zit today. I bought it at the store, it used to belong to a guy named Zach.
September 21st
Thought about trying internet dating today. But then decided that I really didnt want to date the internet. I'm just not much into computers.
September 24th
Overslept and missed my flight. Had to hire a hot air ballon to take me to my show.
September 26th
Did a show, got some laughs, went to Taco Bell. A perfect day.
September 29th
Got attacked by a rabid monkey after my show who mistook me for a large bananna.
October 2nd
I shaved my chest hair today into the words "I KNOW" so that now when I look in the mirror and say "You are sexy!" it will be like my body is responding to me by saying "I KNOW"
October 7th
Thinking about trying to clone myself so that I can do more shows for all of the fans out there
October 9th
Heard back from the cloning people, it would be very expensive, plus they said there was no way they could replicate my cracking voice. Oh well.
October 12th
Did a show for people who didnt speak english, they still laughed at me but I think for the wrong reasons.
October 14th
Lost my cell phone.
October 15th
Found my cell phone, it had accidentally fallen in my underpants. If I changed my underpants more than every other day I would have
found it sooner.
October 18th
Accidentally called a girl "Fatty McFatterson", she punched me in the face.
October 21st
Got offered to do some modeling for fruit of the loom, they wanted me to be the guy in the grapes costume.
October 24th
Did a show for 19 people tonight but they were laughing so loud it sounded like there were 37 people there. It was awesome.
October 27th
Signed some autographs after the show tonight, well, I filled out a police report, but I had to sign it, and it was after the show, so it still counts.
October 28th
Someone asked me why the ladies call me "The Big Red Love Machine" and I said "because I am big, I am red and I am a love machine baby!!"
October 31st
Walked out of my hotel to go to my show and a bunch of kids complimented me on my halloween costume. I then told them that I wear a red suit, leotard and thong
all the time. They laughed and then ran away.
November 23
I had to tell a bit of a lie and let all of the girls know that I couldnt be with them on Thanksgiving because I was called away to do a show for the people of Botswana because they are in need of laughter. I think they bought it and I think it helped that none of them had ever heard of Botswana.
December 20
Not much else happened this month, Christmas is coming and all that stuff. I am preparing for the onslaught of gifts from all the ladies. That will occupy most of my time so I will check back in next year.
